Fear, doubt and insecurity are all around us, outside and inside of us. Sometimes it may even seem easier to “just want to be someone else” as we wrap ourselves up in these negative feelings. The grass may appear much greener on the other side based on our perceptions and ideas. Which may or may not be slanted in the right direction, based on the past or current experiences we have had. The reality is often the exact opposite and others are more afraid than we are.
What if the person you think has everything going for them looks in the mirror and hates the way they smile, or how large they think their eyes are? What if everyone else in their family has brown eyes and they are made to feel out of place for having blue ones? If the messages they have heard from family, friends or loved ones has always been negative regarding a certain characteristic or feature, their self-esteem will have taken solid hits from that.
It’s comical how others are envied for superficial beauty, wealth or relationships that people would fight to trade places with them because many of them are looking at us and thinking the same thing. You appear as the smartest person around and they wish they had the same people or conversation skills that you do. That feeling of quiet desperation to “be someone else” results in the lack of confidence, low self-esteem and any hope that we can ever improve our situations in life.
This is a perception and not your reality. Rather than spend your life wringing your hands about who you can’t be, or what you don’t have in it, concentrate on finding out how to make things better for yourself. Ask questions and find solutions to how to be a better person and to accept yourself for who you are. You can always learn new skills, ask trusted friends or advisers for areas they think you could improve in and how.
Just because that’s the way “you have always been” doesn’t mean that’s the way you must always remain. Taking steps to self-improvement can open up new doors of experiences and opportunities for you. Then you can, in turn, inspire and motivate others.
Get rid of the regrets in your conversations with yourself and focus on being a first class citizen in your own mind. Accept yourself for who you are, improve what and where you can and stop constantly comparing yourself to others. All of us will always be insecure at times but that doesn’t have to be a life sentence for being unhappy. Loving ourselves no matter what begins with the act of self-acceptance. Once we achieve that, contentment will follow.